I am the self-appointed queen of productive procrastination.

For about the last 20 years, I have managed to get a lot of different things accomplished because of the face that I’m putting something else off. Usually what I need to get done is scary, gross, terrible, messy, time-consuming or boring, this time it’s nerve-wracking. I have to memorize 7 pages of 12pt type (single spaced) by Monday and I’m freaking out.

There’s a reason why I’m not an actress and aside from the lack of bone structure and daily case of the giggles, and it’s because memorization scares me. You might wonder, but Michelle, aren’t you trying to be a TV personality? Yes, I am. But tell me when was the last time Kelly Ripa, Rachael Ray or Joy Behar had to memorize a 20 minute speech? Thank you teleprompters, notecards and the awesomeness that is ad-libbing.

Even when I was in school and had to give speeches, I never memorized them I would just write an outline and wing it. Hence the reason I believe I have a talent for talking. I did pretty well in school so I think it worked. The last time I had to memorize anything was my Miss Septemberfest speech and it was about me, so I kinda knew all of the details.

So I spent an hour typing the script up last night and today took the first part and went over and over it on the elliptical, but I need to figure out other things to do, so any suggestions are appreciated! Five days people.

The silver lining – the productivity in my procrastination! First I treated myself to a pedicure. Treated might be a bit of a stretch though, it was one of the crappiest pedicures I’ve ever gotten, no injuries or anything but it was only about 10 minutes and it wasn’t very relaxing. However, when you have the same nail polish on your toes for over two months, a super crappy pedicure still beats nothing.

I also cleaned my room and ran the dishwasher/did the dishes yesterday, caught up with all of my blog posts, edited my sweet talk and am ready to do the next one, went to Target, and the bank, took out all of the garbage and cleaned the inside of my car. And today I’m getting an oil change and will probably take an hour-long walk before the sun goes down. So at least sometime is getting done, but really this script is pretty important in the sense that I’m not officially employed until I memorize it. Eek. Help.