Which freaked me out, but pushed me to the elliptical to work on my script, so I guess it was meant to be.

This has been elliptical week because that’s the best way for me to try to memorize this thing. I mean, I’m sure I look like a weirdo bouncing on the machine repeating sentences to myself, out loud, but it’s kind of like the chewing gum while you study theory, right? Move around while you’re memorizing and your brain will work harder? Something like that. Which is also why I took a step class yesterday, to get this giant head working again. I mentioned before that I’m feeling dumber lately, due to my lack of things to do, so I decided to go to my least favorite workout class, step aerobics, to strengthen my brain.

You see, similarly to why I don’t like to drive, I hate step class because I get distracted easily and fall off the step. It’s embarrassing. Almost every time I go to a class I think I’m getting really good and all the sudden the teacher says right and I go left and kaplowie, emphasis on the “owie.” I figured if I blended the step class with memorizing the script my brain can get back to nerd status faster and I’ll feel more confident by Monday.

Turns out I needed my biggest motivator to succeed – fear. I know, I know, fear is not a good motivator. Well, actually it’s a fantastic motivator, kind of like the whole fight or flight theory, but it’s a terrible motivator in the moral sense. There are about a million reasons why you should work hard or try or just do something other than fear, but for me it’s just so darn good and getting me in gear that I have a problem looking for a different reason. The feat this time is the meanest woman in the world – the fitness instructor. She’s like Jillian Michaels mixed with an evil rabbit that has fake boobs and botox. And an Australian actress. Every time I go to one of her classes, she yells, and I mean YELLS at someone. Generally her intentions are good, she mentions wanting you to get the most out of class, stay injury free and be careful of others. Um, but she chased an old lady out of the room yesterday.

For me, though the possibility of embarrassment, especially in front of woman who are twice my age and in better shape was enough for me to make it through the class fall-free! Woo! I did notice about seven new bruises on my legs today, but that was probably just due to my muscles trying so hard not to fall. Good job calves, I always knew you were there for a reason.

Next up – more elliptical through the weekend before the big deal Monday, plus it’s the last day of my gym membership, so good-bye Aussie rabbit and hello new gym stories.