I feel like I hit a reset button this weekend, cleaned my brain, my clothes, my room and my hair.

A lot has happened in three days, well mentally a lot has happened, and we got a whole nother hour to think about everything.

When I last left you I was reading a knife script over and over and over and over again to no avail. Yesterday I realized why. I do not, at all, want to do this job. Obviously any job and money is something I shouldn’t be turning down. But, a job that is complete commission and does not reimburse you for gas/travel, when that could be up to 80 miles from your house made me nervous. So nervous that I stopped reading the script. In the last two days, the closest I got to reading it was to move it from the floor of the living room to the foot of my bed. And I think I ripped it in half.

I realize that accepting and then un-accepting a job isn’t very upstanding, but, at the same time I never should have accepted it in the first place. Also, I KNOW that any money is money for me and that is why I am making a commitment to myself to earn some sort of money this week, TBD how that will happen, but it will. Sidenote: Alex just brought in a flyer about a reward for a lost cat… so I might be looking for Mochi tomorrow.

On the flip side, I have a small reason to be less upset about the knife money not coming my way – I got hired on the staff of American Idol for their Hollywood week December 11-15. I’m so thankful to my brother’s best friend for finding connections for me, and am planning to be the hardest working person alive that week in hopes of continuing with the show when they come back from break after the new year.

I’m hoping this gut instinct reversal is a good thing, and so is my wallet.