Mini waitress rant from last night. It’s necessary.

I really appreciate tips, obviously without them I would be making less than $5 per hour, which is hardly enough to do anything in life, hence the necessity for tipping. I actually think the whole tipping process/idea is silly, but you can’t change the silliness that makes you leave me more money for bringing a steak than for pouring you nine iced teas…. but that’s another story. This one is about my last table at 2:45am last night.

I do not appreciate your $7 tip on your $100 tab. If that makes me greedy or snooty, I don’t really care because it makes you cheap. Super cheap. And it wasn’t like you had a few expensive drinks or giant racks of ribs, nope, about seven rounds of drinks that included me having the bartender make a Hawaiian martini recipe you found on your phone.

I’d love if I always got 20% tips (I’m not gonna lie, sometimes more than that makes me feel bad – super silly, I know), but I know that’s not going to happen. Some tables tip a standard 18%, 15% or whatever they manage to come up with… but 7%! That makes me want to tell you to go to the liquor store and drink at home. I have to give back 4% of that 7%, so waiting on your for over an hour wasn’t really worth it.

However, I has a ridiculously generous couple at one of my tables where the woman found me to pay for their tab at the host desk because it was the man’s birthday and she wanted to treat him. She tipped me $25 on $59. Insanely generous and appreciated. I also had a few other fun tables so, as most nights, the good people outweighed the bad, but it just makes me slightly (ok, more than slightly) irritated when I’ve been at work from 4:30pm-2:30am and my very last table is the worst.

And now I’m over it and prepped for my shift tonight, which will be a little different since it’s a private party. Message here – if you can’t afford to leave at least 15% tip, stay home.